Seminar on Pioneering Men in Action to Promote Gender Equality discusses equality and family happiness

Gender inequality in the family and the trigger of conflict

The pressure to have a son – a consequence of the patriarchal ideology – is not an isolated incident. It occurs everywhere, causing tension in family relationships, whether it is between sisters, husbands and wives, or between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Ms. Nguyen Thi Mai (name has been changed) came to the Talk Show “Pioneers of Men in Action to Promote Gender Equality” with the desire to learn more about gender equality in relation to family, because that is what her family lacks. As the child in a family of 5 sisters and 1 brother. Since childhood, she and her other sisters have felt the special favor of their parents for their youngest brother, as he was always given new and delicious things compared to the other children. This made her grow up with a pressure to always try to be strong like a boy, trying to do everything because she thought that was the only way to be recognized by her parents.

Inequality in the family is also reflected in the division of labor among family members. The saying “men build houses, women build homes” has been deeply ingrained in the minds of many generations. This seemingly harmless saying is a gender stereotype that needs to be eliminated because it causes both husbands and wives to live with burdens that they sometimes do not even realize.

While the wife has to sacrifice her personal interests and career because of the responsibility of taking care of all the housework and children, the husband also has to face the pressure of "Men cannot cry, they have to earn a lot of money to support their wife and children."

Long-term accumulated pressure makes the wife and husband feel lonely in their own family, and at the same time creates a dangerous cycle: silence and pent-up dissatisfaction waiting to explode, threatening family happiness.

The seminar conveyed messages of hope and commitment to promoting gender equality.

“I once witnessed a family falling apart due to a lack of understanding between husband and wife. The husband expected the wife to take care of everything in the family because she was responsible for earning money, while the wife expected her husband to share the housework with her,” said journalist Truong Anh Ngoc, one of the speakers at the discussion.

“So what is the solution to maintain a family with true happiness, so that the house is truly a peaceful nest, a place to return to when we feel tired?” - a participant asked the speakers.

Respect and Share: A Simple but Forgotten Formula

At the seminar “Men taking the lead in promoting gender equality”, more than 200 staff members of TH Group’s member companies in Nghia Dan district, Nghe An province had the opportunity to listen to the speakers’ close and practical sharing on gender equality in the family. The seminar was organized by the Vietnamese Stature Foundation (VSF) in collaboration with TH Group and the Men’s Forum for Gender Equality and Sustainable Development (VNMENNET) within the framework of the Orange To 2024 campaign.

The seminar had the participation of famous speakers: Mr. Dang Hoa Nam, Director of the Department of Children - Ministry of Labor, Invalids and Social Affairs; Journalist Truong Anh Ngoc; Associate Professor, Dr. Tran Kien, Deputy Director of the Institute for Social Development Studies, Senior Lecturer at the University of Law, VNU, and leaders of TH Group, including: Ms. Luu Thi Thu Hien - Deputy General Director of TH Milk Food Joint Stock Company (THM), Mr. Nguyen Tien Dung - Director of TH Milk Factory. The discussion session within the framework of the seminar took place under the direction of Ms. Tran Hong Diep - Director of VSF.

In response to questions and sharing from participants about gender equality in the family, speakers at the seminar gave an answer that is not new, but is something many families are lacking: respect and sharing.

"Each person should put themselves in the other person's shoes to see the difficulties the other person is facing so that they can understand each other better" - Mr. Nguyen Tien Dung, Director of TH Milk Factory, shared.

According to him, understanding not only helps resolve potential conflicts but also creates a sense of respect for each family member. However, he also affirmed that sharing does not only come from the husband or father. Wives and mothers in the family also need to understand the pressures that men face, because they are also victims of gender stereotypes.

Participants discussed enthusiastically at the Seminar.

Sharing the same view, Ms. Luu Thi Thu Hien, Deputy General Director of THM, shared that: “Men are often expected to be strong, to shoulder economic responsibilities and to protect the whole family. But they also need to be listened to, to share, and need spiritual support,” she emphasized, this is the way to build a truly equal family, where both sides are understood and feel emotionally safe.

However, sharing does not stop at listening. Journalist Truong Anh Ngoc believes that it needs to be demonstrated through practical actions in daily life. He shares the view that gender equality does not mean role reversal – women are forced to earn money instead of men or men must cook.

“Gender equality is when household chores are divided fairly based on each person’s abilities, so that each person feels their role is fair and recognized,” he said. In particular, he affirmed that housework is not a matter of “helping” each other, but a shared responsibility of all members, from parents to children.

Education from the roots

The speakers also agreed that this change cannot happen overnight. It needs to be built from the roots, starting with the way we educate our children – the future owners of the country.

A boy who grows up thinking that housework is the responsibility of his mother and older sister, or a girl who is taught that she must always please others, will find it difficult to escape rigid stereotypes as an adult.

Journalist Truong Anh Ngoc shared that educating children in the family should start with independence. He said: “Whether you have a son or a daughter, teach them to do everything – from cooking, washing dishes to cleaning the house.”

Speakers shared their views on the role of respect in promoting gender equality.

He believes that teaching children independence is a prerequisite, not only for them to know how to take care of themselves but also to form a mindset of respecting the values ​​of others, regardless of gender. In particular, parents need to help children realize that housework is not “mother’s work” or “father’s work,” but is a shared responsibility of all members.

Sharing the same view, Mr. Dang Hoa Nam emphasized that the responsibility of raising children does not only belong to the mother, but must be shared equally between both father and mother. He frankly rejected the popular notion that “spoiled children are the mother’s fault, spoiled grandchildren are the grandmother’s fault” – a prejudice that not only puts all the responsibility on the mother but also undermines the role of the father in the family.

“Every child needs love and companionship from both parents to grow up comprehensively,” Mr. Dang Hoa Nam affirmed.

Thus, eliminating gender stereotypes and promoting gender equality is not a story of a day, a year or just the current generation. It is a long journey, but the starting point should probably be from the closest place, which is the family, and that journey requires the cooperation of all members, whether parents or children.

Journalist Truong Anh Ngoc emphasized that teaching children to be independent is a prerequisite in promoting gender equality in the family.

Right at the seminar, TH male representatives performed a commitment ceremony to show their determination to join hands in promoting gender equality.