As an outsider, you can't possibly understand why the man who was abandoned by his wife wasn't so bad after all. He was capable, decent, kind, friendly to everyone, and caring towards his colleagues. So why did his wife leave him?
Wives in this situation who decide to leave their husbands often face fierce opposition from their family and friends. This is because the husband is seen as a good man by everyone, even a dream man. And yet you "dare" to leave him. What will happen to your children after you leave him? Will anyone want to marry a middle-aged woman with several children? Will you find someone better after leaving him? Perhaps you should just endure it, and life will eventually pass, so you can still play the role of a happy family in the eyes of others, and your children will still have a complete family.
Those who tell you that don't realize that beneath the aura of a successful, kind, caring man, always ready to help friends and colleagues, lies a man blind to his relationship with his wife. He's selectively blind to his wife's emotional needs. He cares about everyone except his wife. Because she's his wife, he doesn't need to care or try to please her anymore. He still helps her when she needs it, even loves her, but is selectively blind to her deepest emotional needs. He shrugs off her complaints about how his parents treat her, or simply says, "Oh, just forget it, it's a small matter!" He doesn't consider her difficulties to be important. He remains silent in the face of her requests for help, or only does it half-heartedly. He asked his wife to focus on the family and the children, not to make any plans, saying this wasn't the time for self-development. In other words, he wanted her to be just a contented wife, not a nuisance, taking care of the children so he wouldn't have to worry about anything; her burning dreams, her career, her self-esteem were of no importance.
I've met husbands who complain to their friends, "Where is the gentle, understanding woman of the past? Where is the intelligent, humorous girl?" That young, beautiful woman has transformed into a slovenly, nagging, irritable, and dissatisfied woman – and he doesn't understand why. He's tired and wants to stay away from her. The intelligent woman of yesteryear has become a foolish, narrow-minded woman whose vision is limited to diapers and baby formula.
He completely failed to understand that she was still the same woman, even in the form of a mother of three, still possessing the passionate heart of her youth – yearning for love, but now numb and numb from being crushed. She wasn't crushed in the sense of being beaten or verbally abused. But she was crushed because she had become invisible to her husband. She was crushed because she wanted to connect, but he silently turned away. She was crushed because while she needed him so much, he was busy helping others, then unjustly accusing her of being angry with him. She was irritable because she was unhappy. She was disheveled because simply surviving each day was a struggle; where would she find the energy to care about her appearance? Those sitting around with their beers lamenting the disheveled and resentful wife didn't realize that her condition was his fault. The infuriating thing was, he didn't understand why his wife was unhappy, because he was blind and deaf to her cries for help. He ignored his wife's need for emotional connection, and was completely surprised when she no longer loved him. He didn't realize that cutting off the love for him was her defense mechanism against hurt, because only when love is gone will she no longer care when that person is indifferent to her.
A normal person, if they accidentally hurt a friend or colleague, would feel guilty. A person who hurts their wife without realizing it can only explain it by saying they didn't see it; they are "blind." The reason they are selectively blind to their wife is because, to them, her importance pales in comparison to that of a regular colleague. If they damage a relationship with a colleague, they will lose that relationship. But hurting their wife costs them nothing – she is already their wife, they have children together, she can't possibly leave them. Therefore, they cannot ignore a colleague's offer of help, yet they can comfortably ignore their wife.
A man completely taken by surprise by his wife's abandonment is someone she can't even begin to express her unhappiness to. She silently masks her deep sadness and disappointment with a calm demeanor. She hides her wounded heart from those closest to her, understanding that nothing can be salvaged. She quietly plans her life, her life after the breakup, because only when she sees the light at the end of the tunnel will she have the courage to live on.
That "blind" husband isn't necessarily a bad person in the eyes of outsiders. But this type of husband is even more damaging to women, precisely because he's not inherently bad, but makes a terrible choice only for his wife. A kind, understanding man who spends time with everyone except his wife – do you find this type of man quite common?
Source: https://baophapluat.vn/nguoi-chong-mu-post542394.html
