As an outsider, you cannot understand that the man whose wife abandoned him was not so bad. He was talented, decent, kind, friendly to everyone, and cared about his colleagues. So why was his wife leaving him?

Wives in this situation when deciding to leave their husbands are often strongly opposed by their family and friends. Because the husband is a good person in everyone's eyes. Even a desirable person. Yet you "dare" to leave him. If you leave him, what will happen to your children? Who would still want to marry a middle-aged woman with several children? Will you be able to marry someone better if you leave him? Well, just endure it like that, and then a lifetime will pass, to still fulfill the role of a happy family in the eyes of the world, so that the children can still have a complete family.

People who tell you that don't know that underneath the halo of a successful, kind, caring man who is willing to help his friends and colleagues is a man who is blind to his wife. He is selectively blind to her emotional needs. He cares about everyone except his wife. Because she is his wife, he doesn't need to care or please her anymore. He still helps her when she needs it, even loves her, but is selectively blind to her deep emotional needs. He ignores her complaints about the way her in-laws treat her, or just says "forget it, it's a small matter!". He doesn't think her difficulties are important. He remains silent to her offers of help, or just does it for show. He asked his wife to focus on taking care of the family and the children, not to make any plans, this was not the time to worry about personal development. In other words, he wanted her to just be a wife who was content, didn't cause trouble, took care of the children, so he didn't have to worry about anything; her burning dreams, her career, her self-esteem were not important at all.

I meet husbands who complain to their friends that where is the gentle, understanding woman of the past, where is the smart, humorous girl? That young, beautiful woman has turned into a slovenly, gossipy, irritable, dissatisfied woman - and he doesn't understand why. And he is tired of her, wants to stay away from her. The smart woman of the past has become an ignorant, short-sighted woman whose vision is limited to diapers and baby milk.

He completely failed to understand that she was still that woman, even in the form of a mother of three, still carrying the passionate heart of the young girl she once was - wanting to be loved, but now becoming mute and numb from being crushed. She was not crushed in the sense of being beaten and scolded. But she was crushed because she had become invisible to her husband. She was crushed because she wanted to connect but he silently turned away. She was crushed because while she needed that man so much, he was busy helping others, then blaming her for being unreasonably angry with him. She was irritable because she was unhappy. She was disheveled because surviving each day was already a challenge, where did she get the energy to care about her appearance? The people sitting by the beer complaining about their disheveled and spiteful wives had no idea that she became like that because of them. The infuriating thing was that he had no idea why his wife was dissatisfied, because he was blind and deaf to her cries for help. He ignored his wife's need for emotional connection, then was completely surprised when she stopped loving him. He didn't know that cutting off his love for her was her defense mechanism against being hurt, because only when she stopped loving him would she stop caring when someone else was indifferent to her.

A normal person, if he accidentally hurts a friend or colleague, will feel guilty. A person who hurts his wife without knowing it can only explain that he didn’t know because he didn’t see, he was “blind”. The reason he is selectively blind to only his wife is because to him, her importance is far behind that of a normal colleague. If he hurts his relationship with his colleague, he will suffer the consequence of losing a relationship. But hurting his wife, he loses nothing – she is already his wife, has his child, she can’t leave him. Therefore, he can’t turn a blind eye to a colleague’s offer of help, but he can comfortably ignore his wife.

A man who is completely taken aback by his wife’s abandonment is a man whose wife cannot express her unhappiness, she silently covers her sadness and deep disappointment with a calm face. She hides her broken heart from the people closest to her, because she understands that there is nothing that can be saved anymore. She silently plans her life, a life after the breakup, because only when she sees the light at the end of that tunnel, will she have the courage to live on.

That “blind” husband is not a bad person in the eyes of outsiders. But this type of husband is even more destructive to women, precisely because he is not bad by nature, but makes bad choices only with his wife. A kind, understanding man who spends time with everyone except the person he is sleeping with - do you find this type of man very common?

Source: https://baophapluat.vn/nguoi-chong-mu-post542394.html