Dr. Vu Thu Huong believes that Vietnamese families today have changed according to the characteristics of the times, no longer retaining many traditional features as before. (Photo: NVCC)

International Day of Families (May 15) is an international holiday set by the United Nations to raise awareness of family issues around the world. This day is also to remind each individual of the importance of family to society.

Vietnamese families today have changed according to the characteristics of the times, no longer retaining many traditional features as in the past. In the past, families were the most important part of society and of each individual. In the process of growing up and developing a person, family characteristics will leave the clearest mark and decide their fate.

Nowadays, the strong development of science and technology and the cross-border influences of globalization have weakened the connection in the traditional family. Many young people now do not choose to get married and have children in the traditional way, but choose single-parent families. Many children grow up without daily interaction and contact with nature, instead they are exposed to technological devices. Therefore, children are not familiar with what is happening around them, cannot distinguish between types of water spinach, mustard greens, green onions, etc., but are very familiar with what is happening on the other side of the Earth due to the connection of technological devices.

Many traditional customs are not passed down to younger generations, such as using honorifics with elders, the way of walking and talking, such as "eating while watching the pot, sitting while watching the direction"... There are children who do not speak Vietnamese fluently but speak English quite fluently. Therefore, the Vietnamese family model is no longer the same as before, but is forming modern Asian family models.

Many developed countries have clearly recognized the harmful effects of globalization on society and children, so they have applied measures to deal with it. They require families to isolate children from electronic devices before the age of 6. At the same time, they require parents to seriously fulfill their responsibilities to their children.

In addition, they also have classes to guide parents on how to educate their children and deal with psychological inhibition for parents; many extracurricular activities, community activities to attract the attention of young people. At that time, children will develop many social skills to acquire traditional values.

In any society, respect for individual privacy must be enforced. However, above that privacy are the laws and regulations of the community. What causes this “break” is not privacy but the lack of respect and enforcement of the law by both parents and children. Laws are social regulations that we must comply with in order to live safely and seriously. Laws are also clear boundaries between right and wrong that every person needs to know and follow.

When a family does not have clear rules, children will be confused about concepts, not distinguishing right/wrong. At that time, each member will only think about issues based on personal concepts and their own interests. If there are some rules in the family and everyone follows those rules, everything will become easier.

In addition to those regulations, all personal rights, including privacy, must be respected. Then everything will be controlled within the safety of regulations and personal respect without encountering any "breaks".

Family meals help connect family members. (Source: giadinhvietnam.com)

But it must also be said that parents and children are currently losing connection due to the impact of technology and the Internet. The time to introduce children to technology, their daily activity schedule, life-supporting activities such as community activities, part-time jobs, time and method of reading, learning, exploring life, experiences, especially knowledge of raising children... will determine the level of connection between children and their parents. When children's lives are too boring, with only studying and personal activities, children will spend all their time and enthusiasm on technological discoveries.

Initially, when children are young, parents can still control the level and content of exploration. But as children grow older, control becomes more difficult, even beyond the ability of parents. At that point, the impact of the Internet and technology will really affect children and families.

So how to shorten the distance between family members? In my opinion, true devotion, love for children beyond the needs of parents, especially the need to be honored and recognized, knowledge of raising children and the willingness to sacrifice their own feelings will build family happiness.

Parents should give their children time and attention to all aspects of their children, not just their grades and achievements in class and at school. Then, parents will be able to easily implement educational measures and support their children's development.

One thing that is especially important is the openness of parents to their children. If parents do not have strict guidelines or strict evaluation criteria, making friends with their children is not difficult. Children are willing to tolerate all of their parents' problems if they feel their parents' sincerity and love and are not pressured by too much expectation.

Therefore, everything will become easier when parents remove the constraints in their own concepts while dealing with children's problems. At that time, the family will truly become the cradle of happiness and the most important for a person.