Remembering names and faces of guests in Sri Lanka

Hello Deputy Minister Arun Hemachandra! I am very pleased to see you again! (Source: Embassy of Vietnam in Sri Lanka)

Yet, there have been many times when I have been in a state of “laughing and crying” because of the mistakes (sometimes cute, but sometimes very annoying) due to my limited memory. I remember once “chatting” endlessly about the relationship between the two countries’ parliaments with a friend who I initially thought had worked with during the visit of our National Assembly leader to Sri Lanka. After a while, the conversation developed and I realized that this friend worked at the Sri Lankan President’s Office, with whom I had had the opportunity to talk before.

In Sri Lanka, names are often quite long, especially surnames, and do not follow a certain rule to help distinguish whether this name is usually male or female. The pronunciation of Sri Lankan names is also sometimes inconsistent. Remember, after the visit to Vietnam of Sri Lankan President Anura Kumara Dissanayaka in May 2025, the Sri Lankan public questioned the Ministry of Foreign Affairs about whether the President's name was Dissanayake or Dissanayaka.

When I first arrived in Sri Lanka to work, I had a hard time remembering the names of your Leaders. To make it easier to write reports, I wrote a note and stuck it on my computer for quick reference. But when I went to meet you, it was a different story. Should I open the note (when I had just arrived, shook hands, and said hello, and had not yet sat down at my desk)? Therefore, on the way, my "exercise" was often not to recite the content (also known in the profession as talking points) about to be discussed, but the name of the Leader I was about to meet, so that when shaking hands and introducing myself, I could confidently say the name of the guest with the most accurate pronunciation possible. My secretary understood this very well, so before each meeting, she helped me review the name, title, and pronunciation of the name of your Leader. I think “a greeting is more important than a feast”, greeting, introducing smoothly, grasping some personal characteristics and interests of the guest will make the story closer and more touching, thereby making it easier to achieve the purpose of the meeting…

Sri Lankan leaders are very friendly, so many have taken the initiative to allow me to call them by their shorter names, which can be their first or middle names, not necessarily their last names, which are often very long and difficult to remember. This makes it easier for me in informal settings, however, in formal addresses I try to use the full name of the guest or their last name.

One of my “secrets” is that after each meeting or reception, I spend a certain amount of time reviewing business cards, saving phone numbers, names, and positions of guests in the most scientific and easy-to-find way; and recite the names.

Ambassador Trinh Thi Tam and Sri Lankan Minister of Religion, Buddhism and Culture Hiniduma Sunil Senevi presented flowers to Musician Mohamed Iqbal, who composed a song about Vietnam-Sri Lanka relations, at the 55th Anniversary of the Establishment of Diplomatic Relations between the two countries, July 21, 2025. (Source: Vietnamese Embassy in Sri Lanka)

In terms of appearance, Sri Lankans have many similar features, so I also have difficulty remembering customers' faces, especially men with beards... Learning from silly and unnecessary mistakes, when I feel uncertain about a customer, during the conversation, I will often ask questions (just to ask, to socialize) to gradually narrow down the target. For example: I remember meeting you somewhere before. If the customer says: Oh no, this is the first time..., then lucky me... I will start an acquaintance from zero. But if the customer happily says: Oh, yes, we have met... Then I have to use the next questions to find out which agency this guest belongs to, what occasion they met... And so on and so forth, still exchanging, still asking questions as if it were real, but my mind is working at full capacity to determine who the guest is in order to gradually bring the story into the desired content, and to let the guest see that I really respect them, really miss them even though I haven't seen them for a long time...

To solve this problem, one of the “secrets” is that every time I receive guests or attend a reception, I have the habit of asking to take a photo with them, the most convenient is a selfie, both following the trend and also a way to review the photos after each meeting to remember the person (along with their name). This is also a way to train my memory every day.

The diplomatic profession, to outsiders, seems like a leisurely, enjoyable way to go out and attend receptions. However, to make each foreign affairs activity beautiful and complete, one needs to learn and practice skills. Remembering the names and faces of guests is one of the skills I practice every day. But to do this in the best way is not an easy task, even if it is just a matter of remembering the names and faces of guests!

A few random lines recorded on the occasion of the 80th anniversary of the establishment of the Diplomatic sector (1945-2025).