According to CNBC, “How are you?” are the three most useless words to start a conversation. The person asking doesn’t really want to know, and the person answering doesn’t really care. The result is a wasted opportunity, meaningless time, and zero connection.

To make the most of communication opportunities, Harvard researchers have shown that asking questions is an effective way to ensure that the questions are meaningful.

In a series of experiments, they analyzed more than 300 online conversations and concluded: "When people ask more questions, they are more likely to get a response, as long as the questions contain listening, understanding, and caring."

To do this, successful people often have special ways of communicating that help maintain a meaningful conversation:

1. Start connecting with 3C

An effective question usually ensures the following 3Cs: It is authentic - It has a connection - It has a theme that tells them who you are.

Accordingly, Harvard researchers suggest some good questions to start the conversation:

"How is your mind right now?"

"What are you looking forward to this week?"

"You remind me of someone famous, but I can't think of the name. Are you related to any artist?"

2. Learn about the other person before meeting

No matter how little or much, remember to find out who you are about to meet and talk to. Where they are from, what their position is, what their role is. What they like, what special habits they have, what taboos they have...

These things will keep you from being put on the defensive when communicating. And of course, you won't be made difficult anymore.

3. Understand body language

The claim that 55% of communication comes from a combination of facial expressions and body language has recently been controversial, but there is no denying that non-verbal elements play an important role in communication.

However, according to research, professional communicators are not only concerned with their own posture and facial expressions, but also need to be able to interpret the signals given by others.

Postures, gestures, or facial expressions suggest what we are really thinking and feeling. For example, following other people's body language is often done when we are trying to establish a rapport with someone. Being able to accurately interpret it and respond to it will help you grasp the conversation.

4. Don't just "update"

Many people start a conversation with a "news" issue such as traffic, sports, weather, etc. According to experts, this way of talking is not attractive at all, unless it is a genuine concern of the other person.

Good communicators often move the topic beyond that trivial information to something more important and personal to both parties.

5. Honesty

Great leaders know that half-truths breed distrust. They are honest with others.

When they can't share confidential information, they'll say so. When they can provide information, they'll keep it short and clear.

6. Share some news

If you have “news,” share it: “I adopted a beautiful cat last weekend” or “My son rode his bike for the first time yesterday!”

Believe it or not, most people actually want to get to know each other better, especially if you both work for the same company. This also helps people get to know each other better.

7. Active listening

Listening is a tip that gets talked about so much it almost becomes a cliché. However, that's because it's an incredibly important element of being a successful communicator.

Paying full attention and not interrupting when someone is speaking can have surprising results. Many people know this but not everyone can do it.

Actively listening to employees improves productivity, job satisfaction, and workplace relationships. Listening to leaders and colleagues also increases awareness, reduces miscommunication, and increases focus on work.

Active listening allows you to pick up on smaller cues, including subtle things that are not said in a conversation. This helps you better understand and respond to the needs of the people you are communicating with.

8. Be proactive and start early

When possible, take the initiative and start at the right time. Don't just sit around and wait for someone else to start talking, especially if you have something to share.

If you wait, two things will happen: One, someone else will make a comment that you've been harboring in your mind; Two, your colleagues will take over the conversation and you'll get lost in it, missing your chance to speak up.

9. Be brief and concise

While it is possible to give detailed, detailed, and insightful explanations in person, on email, or over the phone, remember that the average human attention span is only eight seconds. It is clear that you need to develop the ability to express yourself as quickly and accurately as possible.

Many business people make the mistake of talking too much because they are influenced by the tendency to over-explain, come off unprepared, or go on a long discussion after they have made their point.

To solve this problem, take a few minutes to outline the main points of your talk before your next meeting or call. Think about how you can turn your presentation into a conversation, or use visuals to reduce the number of words you need to say.

Constantly looking to cut out unnecessary parts of your presentation will make it easier for others to focus on your core message.

10. Create flow

Once they have a topic to explore, good communicators skillfully set the conversation in a flow, allowing questions and answers to emerge naturally. They follow a hierarchy from small to large, from peripheral issues to more intimate ones.

When there is a flow, the conversation will flow smoothly without both parties having to rack their brains to think of how to respond to each other. That is when communication becomes truly meaningful, helping to strengthen the relationship between the two parties and providing valuable information.

8 valuable traits only found in people with high EQ

Social Skills - People with high EQ have strong social abilities, the ability to break through all their own limits, develop their careers, and thereby become a "magnet" that attracts favorable work and financial opportunities.