From the article Private funds in marriage, agreement with wife is a problem!, Tuoi Tre Online received sharing of family experiences about common funds, private funds, especially from female readers.

Keep the common fund responsible

"But who said that the person who keeps the money is happy? Having to balance income and expenses, worry about shopping for all kinds of things, and celebrate the joys and sorrows of both parents...", reader Me Tom expressed. She shared frankly:

The previous comments were all from you guys so you all agree on the point of view "each person spends their own money" then "be free", "take care of yourself"...

So I would like to ask, why do your children have to have your last name?

Agree that finances should have a little freedom to reduce stress. But too much freedom leads to loss of self-control.

There is a man who is bold enough to say that we each spend our own money. He says that when we go out drinking, "when we go out drinking, I'll tip my little sister". With that mindset, you shouldn't keep money.

She also told her family story:

In my opinion and currently, each person keeps 1/3 of their salary each month for personal expenses and for their family. The rest must be deposited into the common fund of both husband and wife .

Who keeps it depends on each family. In my family, I manage it. Although I told my husband to keep it, he said it was too much trouble to keep it ...

Ms. Phuong's case is different. She shared about the common fund: "After a period of time when the economy is stable, I no longer ask my husband to transfer money to me every month. And I also don't care how much he has.

Personally, I still save money, I don't dare eat breakfast or buy a glass of water that costs more than 30,000 VND.

Despite being good at managing the common fund, one day Ms. Phuong found out that her husband had lent money to this person or that person. And he didn't even ask her. "That was really hurtful," she wrote.

Pool agreement from the start

What about joint funds and separate funds for those who have just moved in together? Having just built a home, Mr. Van Hung said that a few years ago he had the idea of ​​making a prenuptial agreement when getting married.

The first thing is always the financial agreements: how much income, how much the common fund contributes, what expenses need to be discussed.

In addition, we also discuss how to behave with both sides of the family, friends, children, sex ...

I am happy that my wife is happy with this transparency and has agreed to work with me on this agreement, which we can revise annually or as needed.

The family of Ms. Tom's mother mentioned above also divided: "If there is any personal shopping need, then control yourself, save up 1/3 of your budget to buy it.

The common fund is for house rent, children, expenses that the couple discusses together, or savings.

When you need to spend more but your personal money is not enough, just say so. If it is reasonable, just use the common fund. My husband and I often joke that "the husband/wife borrows, and will pay back at the end of the year or when there is surplus". There is no need to use the phrase "beg the wife/husband".

Mr. Thanh thinks that the issue of common and private funds is simple. "It's just that there are many problems due to mistrust." He analyzed:

"First, before marriage, when dating and getting to know each other, each person has private property.

So just continue to ensure the status (it is the status, the amount of money will be agreed upon by both parties) after marriage.

Second, recognize the nature of marriage and family. When getting married, two people will build a home together. There needs to be a common fund or "house money" to cover everything. Including the care for parents and relatives of both sides."

Mr. Thanh emphasized that the common fund and the separate fund "everything is an agreement and trust!". If the marriage still divides me and you, and there is no trust, then I ask, does that marriage still have its original meaning?

Giving money to your wife is peace of mind.

According to reader phone number 0988... , the issue of common funds and separate funds is complicated or not depending on each family's circumstances.

"My wife and I are very much in agreement when it comes to money. I don't like to keep money or have any secret funds or savings.

No matter how much I earn or how much I get as a bonus, I transfer it all to my wife. No need to think about it. But we always keep 4-5 million in our wallets for daily use," he shared.

If he saves, he can use this money for 20 days. As for the common fund, he said: "Thanks to giving money to my wife, my wife and I have 4 plots of land to enjoy our old age. And we don't expect our children to take care of us in the future."

In short, let's be transparent with each other on this issue. Be honest about the problem and plan for the future.

The key to family happiness is financial stability. It's that simple, no need to worry about it.

As for reader Pham Thiet Hung , his wife does not know much about his finances. But he believes: "For big expenses like buying land, building a house, buying a car... the husband and wife discuss and cooperate in the budget. If there is a shortage, we will solve it together."