I am Aunt Hong, 55 years old, I have just been granted early retirement. I was planning to find a place with a pleasant climate to travel when I suddenly received a call from my daughter-in-law asking me to take care of the children during her retirement.

I told my daughter-in-law that if she agreed to my three conditions, I would not help take care of the children. After explaining, my daughter-in-law was silent for a moment and then hung up without saying a word. Deep down, I knew clearly that my daughter-in-law would not accept those three conditions. Even so, I did not regret that choice.

Conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law since the wedding day

I remember when I gave all my savings to my son and daughter-in-law before the wedding, the daughter-in-law's face was longer than a pump and she said sarcastically: "Dad gave us 400,000 yuan (about 1.4 billion VND). He knew we didn't have any money so he generously gave us such a large amount to pay for the deposit on the wedding house."

I understood that my daughter-in-law was complaining that the money I gave them was not enough. But a larger amount was beyond my ability. Although I was very sad, I still explained to my daughter-in-law that I had been divorced from their father for many years and was renting a house. I was also having a hard time right now, and the 50,000 yuan (about 170 million VND) was the amount I had saved for my old age.

I was very sincere but my daughter-in-law seemed unhappy and did not want to take my money. I put the money in her hand. Although the amount was not much, I was able to support her somewhat.

I thought my daughter-in-law would understand. But I didn't expect that they wouldn't even let me attend the wedding. When my son got married, I didn't even know anything. When I found out, everything was already done, with my ex-husband and his new wife in charge.

As a mother, I really feel it's too much that my son didn't announce anything about the wedding.

I immediately called my son and cried, criticized, and expressed my anger.

My son also expressed helplessness and said that his daughter-in-law did not want me to attend the wedding because I only gave 50,000 yuan, so she said I was not qualified.

My son's words made me extremely disappointed. From then on, I completely lost my good impression of her and never contacted her unless necessary.

All efforts are in vain

Although I don’t like my son’s family, when my grandson was born, I still gave him a red envelope of 5,000 yuan (about 18 million VND) to congratulate him. But my daughter-in-law’s attitude towards me was still extremely cold, without any warmth. No matter how my daughter-in-law treated me, I didn’t care and dismissed it all because my grandson was my biggest concern.

Since my grandson was born, I have been visiting my son's house every month. Every time I visit him, I never come empty-handed. I buy the best food that both adults and children can use.

My son is very obedient to his daughter-in-law so I can't ask him to tell her. I know that I can't rely on my son's family when I'm old so I've been saving hard to enjoy my retirement.

A few days after completing the retirement procedures, I was planning to go out and enjoy my leisurely days when I received a call from my daughter-in-law telling me to come home at 8am every day to go shopping, cook and take care of the children, then leave when my son and daughter-in-law got off work.

I wondered how my daughter-in-law could say such words when she didn’t even invite me to her big day. I had just finished my retirement paperwork and she called me to come babysit for free!

I absolutely refused to give in. So I made three requests to my daughter-in-law. If she agreed, I would go to their house to take care of the children and look after the house.

1. I will help them take care of the children and do housework but they will have to pay me a fee. Whatever the amount, I will accept it. At least it will be a recognition of my hard work.

2. I also have my own life and I need time and space to enjoy it after decades of working. So I only go there 5 days a week, I won't go on the weekends.

3. From now on, my daughter-in-law must not be cold to me anymore. I will help, not to please them and I need respect.

Even so, I don't regret it. On the contrary, I think I did the right thing. I've seen clearly that even if I did as my daughter-in-law said, she wouldn't be grateful to me, let alone treat me well.

In this case, why should I waste my time and energy on someone who doesn't know how to be grateful? It can be foreseen that with my daughter-in-law's selfishness, if I go to my son's house to help with the housework, I will have to pay for the things, and my daughter-in-law will not give me a single cent.