If teachers do not know how to control themselves, they can easily get angry when students violate the rules. Although they have studied education and psychology in teacher training colleges, many teachers always show their power and want to immediately handle those violations.

Therefore, listening always helps teachers know the exact reason why students violate. Next is sharing so that students have the opportunity to present their sometimes shallow thoughts because they are not mature enough to understand deeply.

Judging students in an imposing manner

A very common thing in schools today is that homeroom teachers only base on the comments and evaluations of the subject teachers' lessons and then impose conclusions on the students. Subject teachers often just because a few individuals do not complete their study tasks or follow the rules, or are not polite to the teacher, for example, the whole class suffers.

I once knew a case where a good and obedient student in the class accidentally did not complete an exercise on the board and received an unsatisfactory score. When returning to his seat, the student put his notebook down on the table, making a noise. The teacher affirmed that this was an impolite behavior, demanded a reduction in his conduct, and reported to the homeroom teacher to invite the student's parents in to give him a warning. I tried to tell her that this should only be done in private, to give her feedback so that she could correct her mistake. If necessary, the teacher could remind the whole class to be careful of behavior that could easily cause misunderstandings for teachers. However, the teacher did not agree.

Before inviting the student's parents, I met them privately and the student honestly said that his actions were due to personal feelings and that he had not been disrespectful to the teacher. He admitted his mistake and promised to be more careful. The parents came to school and, fortunately, they also admitted their child's mistake, so the matter stopped.

Teachers don't want to teach just because of a "rude" student.

Another teacher declared that he would not teach if the class left a student present just because the student smiled at his classmates when he received a bad grade for not knowing the lesson. The teacher felt that he was being disrespected and his honor was hurt, so he had to punish the student. Under pressure from the teacher, the class isolated the student and urged him to leave the class to please the teacher.

It was not until the homeroom teacher found out and intervened that this student was allowed to enter the class. However, the teacher-student relationship was most damaged when the teacher did not interact with this student throughout the school year. Through investigation, I learned that it was the student's forced smile towards his friends because he knew he was a poor student, and did not dare to look down on or be disrespectful to the teacher. Meanwhile, the teacher still insisted that the student did not feel ashamed of being a poor student and that smiling was unacceptable.

Self-control in the face of student violations is a great demand for teachers. If teachers and students focus on rules and disciplinary measures, it will be difficult for teachers and students to sympathize. Students are growing up and think they understand everything. Sometimes, actions are to prove their heroic character and fearlessness. Teachers need to find out the root cause of violations, analyze, clarify right and wrong, and create conditions for students to change in order to be successful.

Is it wrong to have long nails and paint them black?

I once reminded a female student that having long nails and painting them black was a violation of the rules. This student brazenly replied to me in front of the class: "What's wrong with having long nails? What's wrong with painting them black? None of the teachers said anything. Only the teacher said anything! What about the teacher painting her nails in all those colors?"

I was very angry but realizing that the female student was still in her teens, I said: "Let's continue class! Let's discuss this later." The class regained its light atmosphere.

The next day, I met with my colleagues for advice. Indeed, many teachers did not give me any reminders, so she was right to answer me like that. A female colleague insisted on informing her family and asked her to write a self-criticism. I did not agree.

The homeroom teacher promised to meet with him to get his opinion. Afterwards, he came to see me, admitted his mistake and promised to change. It is true that because I was the only one who gave him the opinion, he protested…

Obviously, in resolving student violations, the cooperation of the teacher community is very necessary... If disciplinary measures are imposed on students for every mistake, it is a failure of the teacher. If you want students to behave civilly with teachers, teachers must set an example first.

Teachers are friendly yet serious

In the face of mistakes, teachers cannot ignore them but need to give proper and sincere reminders along with tolerance. Depending on the violation, the level and the impact on the student body, teachers will determine the form and method of approach to educate students.

Some teachers leave everything to the homeroom teacher, without caring about or understanding the personality, living conditions, or learning abilities of the students. Teachers who teach subjects but are not homeroom teachers only focus on teaching.

When students violate the law, it is common for teachers to immediately contact the families and most of them give harsh conclusions, sometimes with imposition and threats regarding conduct classification. Citing the excuse of not having time and having to focus on their profession, many teachers only think about discipline without contacting the students and their friends. That is why teachers say one thing and students say another, causing arguments between the school and parents.

A colleague of mine has a rather unique but very effective way of dealing with violations. When students violate the rules, neglect their studies, or have inappropriate behavior towards teachers, the colleague will invite the violating student to identify his or her own mistakes, write them down on a personal page in the teacher's notebook (each student has a separate page), sign them, write the date, and make a promise and specific corrective actions.

If a student violates the rules for the third time, colleagues will contact the parents to inform them and discuss specific educational measures. The violating student only interacts with the teacher, without informing the class in the spirit of positive discipline, focusing on encouraging and creating conditions for correction. When the parents meet the teacher, everything is clear, so there is no dispute or argument about right or wrong...

Colleagues shared that they absolutely do not impose mistakes but let students realize them themselves after contacting and explaining to them carefully.

It is best not to confront students in the hope of resolving the matter to relieve anger. Instead, teachers temporarily put the matter aside and continue with the class to have the appropriate time to resolve it properly… In addition, students who do good work, are active in studying, practice good conduct and correct mistakes, and make progress are also noted by teachers and informed to their families. This approach is highly welcomed by parents.

ILLUSTRATION: DAO NGOC THACH

Only by being friendly, sharing, and tolerant of students’ violations can students gain their trust. Here and there, there are still teachers who come to class with a cold face, never smiling or sharing joys and sorrows. There are still teachers who go on social media with impolite words to colleagues, and are stubborn and prejudiced about students’ mistakes in class… how can they be good examples for students?

If teachers behave civilly, every day at school is a happy day for students and also a happy day for teachers.