The Philippines is the only country outside the Vatican where divorce is banned. In the predominantly Catholic country, the Catholic Church, which has a huge influence on society, opposes divorce because it violates its doctrine.

Divorce advocates argue that the ban prevents them from escaping abusive partners, preventing couples from ending relationships and remarrying.

The legal process is slow and expensive, costing up to $10,000 in some cases, and there is no guarantee of success. “I don’t understand why it’s so difficult,” said Sibonga, 45, who spent 11 years trying to escape a marriage forced upon her by her parents.

Currently, a person seeking a divorce can ask the court to annul the marriage, which would mean declaring the marriage invalid from the start, but the government can appeal the ruling.

Sibonga’s legal battle began in 2012, when she filed for an annulment on the grounds of her husband’s “mental incapacity.” After five years and $3,500, a judge finally agreed. But Sibonga’s relief was short-lived.

The Solicitor General, the government’s legal representative tasked with protecting the institution of marriage, successfully appealed the 2019 annulment. Sibonga asked the appeals court to overturn the decision and is still waiting for a response.

“Why should we, who are suffering, abandoned and abused, be punished by the law?” said Sibonga, 45. “All we want is freedom.”

The Catholic Church, which opposes abortion and contraception, is the most powerful anti-divorce organization in the Philippines. About 78 percent of the country’s 110 million people are Catholic, according to census data. Many politicians want to avoid clashing with the church on sensitive social issues.

But parliament has made some important changes in recent years. Birth control legislation was passed in 2012 despite church opposition. In 2018, major parties and opposition parties in the House of Commons passed a bill allowing divorce, although it later stalled in the Senate. It was the first time a divorce bill had gone that far.

A survey by polling firm Social Weather Stations found that Filipino attitudes toward divorce have changed. In 2005, 43% of Filipinos supported legalizing divorce for “irreconcilably separated spouses,” while 45% opposed it. A 2017 survey found 53% in favor, while 32% opposed.

A group of lawmakers are making new efforts to legalize divorce, introducing several bills in the House and Senate. Congressman Edecl Lagman, who authored one bill, stressed that "we are not destroying any marriage."

“Divorce is for marriages that are so broken they cannot be repaired,” and legalizing divorce would help women and children escape “abusive husbands,” Lagman said.

Before his election, President Ferdinand Marcos Jnr said the Philippines should consider allowing divorce, but insisted it would not be easy. The complex legal procedures and long waiting times have given rise to online scams with ads offering quick divorces without going to court.

One victim said she was scammed out of $2,400. She is considering converting to Islam to get a divorce under Islamic law.

“I’m really trying everything to be single again,” she said. “Divorce is so time-consuming, expensive and uncertain, so I’m looking for an easier way.”

Katrina Legarda, a family law expert, said the number of people being duped showed the “urgent need” for new legislation. But Father Jerome Secillano of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines said the country should be proud to be the only country outside the Vatican that “holds to a traditional view of marriage”.

“No relationship is perfect,” he said. Secillano said divorcing an abusive partner “feeds the violence” because the perpetrator will continue to abuse the next spouse. “It’s not a cure,” he said.

Sibonga is Catholic but has stopped going to church. She has a long-term boyfriend but cannot marry him until her first marriage is legally terminated.

"They say that legally, I'm still married, so I'm committing adultery," she said. "They believe that what God has joined together cannot be separated. Is that true? Even if your husband tries to kill you, even after all he's done, you still can't divorce him?"

Sibonga said her relationship with her husband had left her depressed and she had attempted suicide twice. She did not want her children to marry until divorce was legal.

"I told my children that they can live together and have children if they want, but I will never agree to let them get married," she said. "I just don't want them to end up like me."

Hong Hanh (According to AFP )